the tacoma & pierce county humane society is up to capacity and are waiving adoption fees through to sunday 7/23. they currently have multiple dogs housed in kennels together and living in travel crates and are absolutely overrun with kittens with multiple litters arriving daily. if you’ve been considering adopting (or fostering!) a dog or cat (or a critter friend!!) this is a great time to consider doing so. they have a lot of dogs and kittens & cats up for adoption and are in desperate need of space.
After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:
“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”
Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.
“Ow!”
“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”
“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”
The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.
“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”
She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.
“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”
The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.
“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.
“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”
I think one of the reasons why tree law is so popular and people are so enthusiastic about it is because a big, old tree being killed feels so awful. You’ve got something that took years or decades to get that big, that provides so many benefits, and then it’s just…gone and irreplaceable. Of course people are like oh boy, you didn’t think that thing was valuable and now the law is gonna come for you and you’re gonna regret it.
And it feels like one of the few cases where the rich (not the mega rich, but the regular rich) actually get held to account for their crimes, because the punishment is designed to match the actual damage they do. You cut down a bunch of your neighbor’s trees to make your property more valuable? The punishment is basically the cost of your property.
I assume this post got a bunch of notes because we have so many Redditors here and we know Redditors love tree law.
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